Determination

Termination, I don't need drugs anymore,
Determination, there's no need to go and score,
To go to sleep with no worry or no fear
To not wake up wanting to have a beer.

To have time on my hands, to stop and really think,
Instead of spending time just searching for a drink.
To laugh or cry and get the best of life,
Instead of living, on the edge of a sharp knife.

To appreciate the good things all around,
Instead of feeling, run into the ground.
To enjoy food and the smell of it all
Instead of hiding curled up in a ball.

To look back now and wonder what went wrong,
To be appreciated like the words of a good song.
To know that I worked hard to get to where I am,
and really know each day, because I know I can.

- LHTC Resident (2008)


My vision

I've done it, I've changed and finally at last,
I'm living my life without needing my past,
I'm settled and happy and work really hard,
I'm successful , trustworthy and own my own card,
I own my own house and drive my own car,
And years ago I wouldn't of thought I'd ever get this far.
My past is forgotten but not totally yet,
A reminder of how bad things could still get.
I own my own business that does really well,
An ex drug addict and alcoholic you never could tell.
Nowadays I play football and go for a swim,
And occasionally sometimes I go to the gym.
I'll never go back to a life of hell,
I'll stay happy as I am and keep doing well.

- LHTC Resident (2008)


A time to stand and fight

I have reached where nothings ever done,
And still I have time to have some fun.
A time to laugh, play and dance,
A time to stand and fight and make a stance.
I am able to sit back and relax,
And no longer have to rely on the quacks. I am happy to stand on my own,
But have family around and not be alone,
I'm surrounded by people that I trust,
This I know is a must.
Basically I want to work rest and play,
And always know I'll live to fight another day.
I can be cut to the ribbons and bleeding,
And still not be left needing.
I will always have the heart,
To make a fresh start.
I'll be comfortable knowing things will always be uncertain,
Until it comes to the final curtain.
I will never forget my past,
And I will always fight to the last.

- LHTC Resident (2008)


New Beginning

I'm looking towards the future,
Now I see the light.
Before it was darkness,
And night didn't fall.
But now I wake up not hurting in pain,
I get up with everything to gain.
Littledale gave me that trust.
In each and every way.
We're fighting for our future,
It's not that far away.
JUST TAKE IT DAY BY DAY.
- LHTC Resident (2008)


The Addicts Crutch

In the beginning I was used to winning, I used to smile
It slowed to a grin, I've walked the mile.
Events unfolded, it got harder to talk,
My legs buckled, it got harder to walk.
Things got too much, I found a crutch,
It helped me withdraw, to feel no more.
Rising sap, I hoped it would snap,
It got stronger, I could stand it no longer.
It eased my pain, but became such a strain,
The feeling was real, or so I thought.
The more I struggled, the more we fought, I got out an axe, it crushed me to the max.
Felt like I was dyin', I was screaming and crying'
It showed me to quarter, fed me bread and water.
It threw me in jail, it whispered "You're going to fail"
It judged me, it cast blame, so I threw it a flame,
It went up in smoke, and then I spoke.
I then felt a touch, I'd lost that crutch.

- LHTC Resident (2007)


Untitled

Sometimes it's lonely in this place
Although you are never alone
Thinking how the human race
Is still going on at home
My feelings lost inside my head
Especially when I go to bed
Life keeps flashing before my eyes
Remembering the pain of deceit and lies
The torturous thoughts that played in my mind
How I wish I could press rewind
But now I am here and have to face
These feelings that led me to this place
The games I played to win my hand
That brought me to this open land
I will beat these demons in my mind
I'm on the way I am trying to find
The places that I want to be
With my children and mostly be free
From all the hurt I feel inside
That makes me want to run and hide
I will find that place I long to be
Where I can live, be happy, be me.

- LHTC Resident (2007)


Home Again

It's strange as I lay here and stare at the wall
The cracks that once showed don't appear anymore
A solid base all around me, I build it up day by day
An easy life it may not be, but I'd never wish it away.

Once lost in the chaos of this spinning world
I've hope now beside me - forever my girl
Picturing glorious sunsets, summers warmth in the air
A bright light in the distance, making my way there.

I'll always remember that eerie place
Aimless destruction written all over my face
A memory it may be, of a life I once lived
But the secrets of old, no longer kept well hid.

I've lifted the lid and took a good look inside
And you know what I'm learning; I've got nothing to hide
Because I like who I am despite all of this
And believe me my friend, ignorance isn't bliss.

I'm proud to be sensitive and caring as well
I can be a little judgemental but I'm not scared to tell
So I guess what I'm saying is I'm finally free
To speak from my heart and be proud to be me.

- LHTC Resident (2007)


Oceans Apart

Abandoned ship, the waves have all hit
And the crew have long since departed
Now I lay here on this bed, thinking ahead
Making sense of how this all started
So I avoid the Dead Sea grass,
And rub my eyes as I pass
Through the wreckage that I once called my home
Maybe yesterday I would have cried,
But I've heard enough of my own lies
So I sat down and wrote you this poem
So I whey anchor from the dark
I think I've found my spark
To light up this life's temperamental ocean
Now I head out into the blue, there's so much hope I've gained from you - finally I can show my emotion

- Dedicated to the staff and residents at LHTC (2006/2007)


Vera's Bag

A vague and blank existence, a view of blurry monotone
All feelings were resistant; I've played the spoons out there alone
The short term soothers to hold off the long term grief
The air seemed somehow cooler; I killed the pain each time I bled
For all I could see, was all that I had
The hours ahead and Vera's bag
A whole other world awaited as I cooked up the goods
No let up in the cycle, chasing fire and damming floods
Fake dirty plasters, on old gaping wounds
NO MORE changes from tomorrow
Today's the day I choose

- Dedicated to the staff and residents at LHTC (2006/2007)